You Might NOT Be a Floridian If...

This is a list I compiled in about a half hour tonight based on the popular "You might be a redneck if..." jokes. In case you were wondering, this is all my own original thoughts, and they are all based on things I have observed non-Floridians doing or saying. Some are funny, some are serious, but all Floridians can relate :-D I'll add to this list later, but I figured since I haven't written a real post in a really long time, I would post it today. Enjoy.

• You don't know what Chitlins are.
• You cry foul over the sight of a gator in the wild. Even if it's just a 3 or 4 foot baby.
• The sight of a brown patch on your front lawn depresses you.
• You feel uncomfortable telling redneck jokes, thinking that they are "politically incorrect."
• You don't know what the Bonnie Blue Flag is.
• You jump on the table at the sight of a lizard in your living room.
• You were sunglasses in the wintertime.
• You look at a river and see nothing more than a boat highway.
• You put sugar or honey in our grits.
• You don't know what grits are.
• You recoil at the sight of a "racist" Confederate Battle Flag.
• You're afraid to get your shoes muddy.
• You think a Gopher is only a mammal.
• You think "Cracker" is only a derogatory term.
• You build your fancy mansion on an eroding sandbar and then demand compensation when it gets washed away by a hurricane.
• You can't tell a rattlesnake from a cottonmouth.
• You think the word "drawers" refers only to a part of a dresser or desk.
• You think tea is supposed to be served hot.
• You think a Florida Cracker is a baked good.