Sunday, August 20, 2006

You Might NOT Be a Floridian If...

This is a list I compiled in about a half hour tonight based on the popular "You might be a redneck if..." jokes. In case you were wondering, this is all my own original thoughts, and they are all based on things I have observed non-Floridians doing or saying. Some are funny, some are serious, but all Floridians can relate :-D I'll add to this list later, but I figured since I haven't written a real post in a really long time, I would post it today. Enjoy.

  • You don't know what Chitlins are.
  • You cry foul over the sight of a gator in the wild. Even if it's just a 3 or 4 foot baby.
  • The sight of a brown patch on your front lawn depresses you.
  • You feel uncomfortable telling redneck jokes, thinking that they are "politically incorrect."
  • You don't know what the Bonnie Blue Flag is.
  • You jump on the table at the sight of a lizard in your living room.
  • You were sunglasses in the wintertime.
  • You look at a river and see nothing more than a boat highway.
  • You put sugar or honey in our grits.
  • You don't know what grits are.
  • You recoil at the sight of a "racist" Confederate Battle Flag.
  • You're afraid to get your shoes muddy.
  • You think a Gopher is only a mammal.
  • You think "Cracker" is only a derogatory term.
  • You build your fancy mansion on an eroding sandbar and then demand compensation when it gets washed away by a hurricane.
  • You can't tell a rattlesnake from a cottonmouth.
  • You think the word "drawers" refers only to a part of a dresser or desk.
  • You think tea is supposed to be served hot.
  • You think a Florida Cracker is a baked good.


pablo said...

You think tea should never be butchered with sugar.

Hurricane Teen said...

Ah, so you are an "Unsweeter"! Good for you, because putting all that sugar in my tea can't be too good for me. And I drink so dang much of it. Thanks for the comment...It's nice to know people are still viewing.

thingfish23 said...

I suppose we can save the great Confederate flag debate for another day...


Hurricane Teen said...

thingfish - Just last night I watched a "Heritage Not Hate" presentation on PBS. It got me riled up (in a good way). Lordy, I love the South. But yes, I will save that for another day.