Friday, February 16, 2007

Swamp Trekking: Jimmy's Story

As y'all know, my friends and I recently went out into the swamp so that I wouldn't go absolutely crazy with cabin fever. We had a very nice 2-hour hike, and Ben and Jimmy (both of whom had never been into this swamp) seemed stunned by the natural beauty of the place, and the way it just seems to drain all stress and the worries of everyday life...and people wonder why I love Florida so much!

Also, as you know, Jimmy has a great talent for writing rather strange stories. If you have not read his reflections on square bagels and toilet paper yet, I highly recommend that you do. I was going to write my own little boring story about this trip, but I decided to use Jimmy's more interesting one instead. I will need to edit some parts out and censor some stuff, as Jimmy has some....ummmm....inappropriate comments in his original post. I like to keep things clean here on the Minorcan Factor.

Today seemed to start off just as any normal day would, but any alert teenager would know that this wasn't just a normal day. Today was a very good day. A day commonly referred to (by the commonfolk) as an "early release day".
And it was good.

As the shortened school day came to an end, Phillip, Ben, HurricaneTeen, and I met up and decided that we should go on a magical journey as to avoid the boredom of having an extra two-three hours to sit at home and do nothing.

We went on a journey to destroy the one ring of power.

As we made our way out to the mystical woods of doom, and settling inner conflict, we made mental note of the horrors which we would have to endure on such a journey, and we prepared ourselves mentally (as well as physically) for the task that lie ahead.

Entering the forest, we immediately made our way up the river at a good speed.
After traveling non-stop at a good speed for 3 days, we decided to travel across the "bridge-log thingy of no return" for absolutely no particular reason. But Phil decided to try something really stupid (hand me my camera), and he ended up losing the camera off the "bridge-log thingy of no return". So me and Phil decided to have a duel to the death.

Me and Phil, having a duel to the death.

Needless to say, I won.

Me, proclaiming my ultimate victory and Phillip's ultimate demise.

So we continued on our merry way, and 27 days later, we ended up at the ancient and mystical landmark that has been referred to as *censored* (NOTE: The name of this place is not really that bad, but it could be considered offensive and derogatory by some, so I have taken the high road on this one)

HurricaneTeen at *censored*. That's me planning his ultimate demise in the background.

Me, revelling in HurricaneTeen's ultimate demise, which can be credited to me.

Phillip, coming back to life (not at all uncommon).

At this point, I decided that this story really isn't going anywhere. So I'm going to put in some cool elevator music and a montage to pass the time. Since this whole writing thing kind of hinders my ability to do so, put on your own elevator music and imagine a montage of me, Phil, HurricaneTeen, and Ben running through a forest.

He almost died. ***TRIVIA*** -------> That's not my foot. (HurricaneTeen note: It's mine :-D I put it there for perspective, but it is still kind of hard to see the 5-inch-deep hole.)

This is the huge cypress tree the HurricaneTeen is always talking about.

HurricaneTeen made friends with Phill's family. (Note: That's an inside joke.)

Ben, going on an angry rampage and destroying the forest in a blind fury.

We finally destroyed the ring. Because we were getting kind of tired and wanted to go home.

Then Phil and I got into a fight about whether it should be legal to put stem cells in your breakfast cereal or not (Phil likes to eat them raw for some reason), so we had another duel to the death.

Me and Phil dueling to the death (again).

Ugh... this story sucks.

Long story short, we destroyed the ring of power and then went to Burger King.

Phil, at Burger King. I don't really know if he was hungry or if he was contemplating the best way to get on the slide on the playground.

So uhh... the ring was destroyed... our stomachs were filled... Middle Earth was safe from the clutches of Sauron (again)... and... uhhh...
There really is no point to this story.

Moral: Don't argue with Jimmy, because he always wins duels to the death.
Cameras + swamp water = unhappy?


Paintsmh said...

I think you guys might have been having a bit too much fun. What exactly is in the water down there that makes you all so crazy.
Have fun at your reenactment.

Aikäne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hurricane Teen said...

paint - Oh, we had fun, alright. We were quite loud, too, which is something we normally are not when we are out in the swamp. There is a sense of respect for the beauty of nature that just quiets down even the loudest person...but not that day, apparently :-D

I wish I could see what that deleted comment said!

Aikäne said...

Oops... I'm the culprit who deleted, thinking it would disappear. I had added my Olustee comment here, then moved it up where it belonged.

Anyhow, I enjoyed the swamp essay/pics, too. Phil cramming himself into the hollow log looked a tad scary, but I assume y'all poked around for critters beforehand. I did worse when I was his age. Lucky for me, digital cameras weren't so prevalent then. :-)

Paintsmh said...

We all have those sorts of days. You should see how, er, loud the show barn at the fair can get when certain songs come on. Usually the exhibitors are fairly quiet, we are usually to loud not to be. Then there is a certain guy, who would scream at the top of his lungs, just to wake every one up. So you aren't alone in the loudness.

Paintsmh said...

Sorry, that should have been to tired not to be. Up too many hours, not enough coffee.

Hurricane Teen said...

aikane - I am very careful when I lead anybody out into the swamp, so we did poke around for critters first. But that log is HUGE and he really didnt have to cram. We shoved the big Ukranian inside to show perspective :-D

paint - We needed to be loud after being in school all day :-D

Paintsmh said...

Don't we all?

Anonymous said...

Loved the pics, Factor. Wish I could've been out there. I'd beat Jimmy :)

Hurricane Teen said...

Good to see you here.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.